Ghostwriter

I liked you

You could’ve been mine

I would’ve fought for you

I could’ve been by your side.

I was a dreamer

I could’ve hoped

But the dreamer in me

Had long died.

You could’ve been in his place

I would’ve forgotten him

I would’ve loved you

From the start

But my heart

Has always been a fool

Giving love away

To those who just gave it back.

I could’ve been happy

I would’ve loved again

Loved like I was whole again

Because I was yours

But who am I to say

I do not own your heart

You are hers, she is yours

And I am a mere shadow in the dark.

For too short a while

I watch you staring at the steam dancing above your morning coffee. I glared at your cup as you pressed it against your purple lips. Hastily, the tiny red veins in your face lighted up. You gave me a quick glance and stood up.

I stared, just looking at you bare feet tread the wooden floor. You sat on your chair again, tracing the brim of your cup. I smiled when I noticed steam coming from another cup.

I dragged myself out of bed, tiptoed to the table. You were writing now, clicking and unclicking the pen on your left hand. I stretched my feet, they lightly touched your cold toes. You slowly looked up at me and smiled.

I tried to peek into your scribbles. But you pulled the papers away. I watch you write so seriously, so confidently, like you were changing the world with every word you write.

Then you stopped, carefully laid the pen on the table and held my hand. I saw you move your lips but no words would come out.

I grabbed the piece of paper you were writing on, almost spilling your coffee. As I read, I wept and woke up to my tears.

How could you leave me, my darling? How could you leave this world? How could you leave me all alone again?

Second chance

Can we try again love?

Let us go back

And start;

Forget as we forgive

Trust again,

Love again.

We’ll be wiser this time

Better than before

No vows, no buts,

It won’t be us against the world

Not a test nor a trap;

All I ask is another chance, perhaps?

-April 5, 2014

1001

I love you the way I loved the 14-year old boy you once were, naively, fearlessly.

I love you and how you can be rowdy, rough yet gentle at times.

I love the way you glance at me, stare down, and look at me again as if we are strangers.

You drive me insane but hold me together whenever I feel like giving up.

You make my heart do cartwheels and my mind irrational.

You inspire me, effortlessly.

Your smile is my comfort, it gives me faith that each day I wake up things will be just fine.

I love you in every way that you are, for every dream that you have.

I think of you when we’re together, with longing when we’re apart.

I love you for being with me for staying, for being my imperfectly perfect man.

-Oct. 8, 2014